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This episode is a summary of a community meeting with leaders from the People Managers Community and IM Community, where we talked about mental health and the power of everyday recognition. It was honest, sometimes funny, and most of all, practical. It was in Polish, but I have prepared a summary here for you.
Intro
You’re listening to Let’s Talk About Well-Being, a podcast by ��ѻ��ý Poland, where we explore how to take care of ourselves in a world full of constant change and uncertainity, hosted by Katarzyna Smuda.
Katarzyna Smuda
So let’s go over with a few practical things. I’d like to start by looking at some definitions related to mental health, so we can better understand the language we’ll be using. Then we’ll explore together how daily mindful appreciation can play a powerful role, maybe even more than we think. And finally, some of the questions that were held on the meeting. Let’s begin with these few definitions, just to make sure we’re all on the same page.
Let’s start with depression. First of all, depression is not just sadness. Sadness is a natural emotion that comes after difficult events and usually goes away on its own. Depression lasts longer, feels deeper, and doesn’t always have a clear reason. Depression is not a bad day. Everyone can feel tired or irritated sometimes, but depression makes everyday life harder and doesn’t get better after a rest or a good talk. And finally, depression is not laziness or lack of motivation. Depression affects the brain, the energy levels, and ability to take action. People with depression often want to do things, but they just can’t. According to the WHO, depression is a common mental disorder. It involves a low mood or loss of interest and joy in daily activities. These symptoms must last most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. Depression is a condition that needs understanding, that needs support and treatment. It can affect anyone, no matter their age, gender, or life situation. And someone with depression might feel too tired or uninterested in things they used to enjoy, even meeting loved ones or doing hobbies. They might feel sad, feel empty, feel worthless most of the day, almost every day. Believe me, that’s devastating.
They can have trouble with sleeping, with eating, with focusing. They may avoid people, avoid work and responsibilities. Not because they are lazy, but because everything feels too hard. It is important, so I will say it again. This might look like laziness or withdrawal, but it’s a real mental illness, and that needs care. In depression, the brain doesn’t work as it should. Neurotransmitters, the tiny messengers between brain cells, they get confused. Normally, they help us feel joy, motivation, and staying calm. But in depression, their work is disrupted. Serotonin helps regulate mood, sleep, and appetite. When it’s low, people may feel sad, irritated, and have trouble sleeping or eating. Dopamine is linked to motivation and pleasure. When it drops, even favorite things stop feeling enjoyable, like the brain forgets they were ever fun. It’s like the light goes out in a room that used to be warm and bright. Again, it’s not about laziness or lack of will. It’s about a system that’s stuck and needs help to restart. Depression doesn’t always have one clear cause. There’s a biological side, like genetic factors or problems with those neurotransmitters. And where do these problems come from? One of the examples might be scrolling social media. Scientific studies show that scrolling through social media can increase the risk of depression. Social media stimulates the brain’s reward system, causing dopamine spikes, the pleasure chemical. That’s why some experts talk about a dopamine overloaded society. So, there’s the biology, but there are also psychological factors that may include trauma, violence, loss of a loved one, some serious illness, or a long-term stress. Modern life, with its fast-paced, economic uncertainty, and constant news about global crises can really overwhelm our emotions. There are constant crisis, catastrophes, accidents, violence. We have war in Ukraine right now in Europe. There is a war between Israel and Palestine. There are many conflicts all around the world, and our brains aren’t built to handle so many negative signals in such a short time. So, if you want to do something for yourself right now…… stop reading all the news. Disconnect from all the news 24/7. Disconnect from your social media. Believe me, it will work perfectly. And there are also environmental factors. For example, social isolation. Studies after COVID-19 show that loneliness is now a major social issue. It used to be linked mostly to older people, but right now in Poland, the most lonely group is 18 to 25. It is estimated that 25% of Polish young adults feel long-term loneliness, and this directly affects their mental health and ability to function at school and f- in future at work and in society. Now, a few words about anxiety disorders, because they are a group of mental health conditions where the main symptom is excessive ongoing fear or worry, often out of proportion to the actual situation. I will talk about generalized anxiety disorder, about panic disorder with panic attacks, and social phobias. So, what is a generalized anxiety disorder? It’s a condition when the brain acts like an over-sensitive alarm system, warning you about danger, even when nothing bad is happening. It’s like having a radio in your head that constantly plays news about what could go wrong, and you can’t turn it off. In everyday life, someone with GAD might worry all the time about everything; health, work, money, relationships, course. They can also struggle to stop thinking about what could go wrong, even when everything seems fine. They feel constant physical tension, headaches, muscle pain, trouble sleeping, fatigue, heart racing. They also have trouble focusing. They feel irritable. They get tired easily. And what causes this generalized anxiety disorder? It can come from biological factors, so problems with brain chemicals. It can be connected with psychological traits, like perfectionism, need for control, or low self-esteem, and also environmental factors like stress, trauma, difficult childhood. But how can you support someone with this anxiety? First of all, don’t judge. Don’t say, “Oh, just pull yourself together.” You may say, “I see this is hard for you. I’m here if you want to talk.”
Moving on to panic disorder, it’s a condition where the brain suddenly sends out a false alarm as if you are in a serious, serious danger, even when you are not. This alarm is called a panic attack; sudden intense wave of fear that can happen without warning, even in normal situations like being in a shop or a bus, at home, in the office. During a panic attack, someone might feel heart racing, shortness of breath, dizziness, shaking, fear of dying, uh, fear of losing control. And there’s also a feeling of being disconnected, like being outside your body or in an unreal world. These attacks usually last a few minutes, but they can leave behind a strong fear of having another one. Because between these attacks, a person might worry constantly about another attack or avoid places or situations where these attacks happened before. For example, the office. And how to support someone with panic attack? Don’t say, “Oh, it’s just stress. Calm down. It will pass.” Instead, you can say, “I’m here. Breathe with me. How can I help?” Or even, “We can look for help together.” And then moving on to social phobia, because from my experience, it’s also very common in this day’s conversation. It’s a condition where everyday social situation cause intense fear and stress. It’s not shyness. It’s a crippling fear of being judged, of being criticized, embarrassed, and it really can make your life very difficult. At work, someone with social phobia might feel anxious about talking to colleagues. Even saying hi can be really scary. They might be fear of meetings, presentation, phone calls. They may avoid team lunches, social events, some team integration.
They can experience physical symptoms like heart racing, sweating, shaking, blushing, even nausea. And they constantly worry that something will go wrong or that others are judging them. Why is it happening? Imagine every social interaction feels like an exam and every coworker is a strict teacher. They overthink everything they say or do. They afraid of being laughed or being rejected. This can lead to isolation and even giving up on work or even career goals. How you can support someone with social phobia? Again, don’t say, “Oh, you’re overreacting. Just be more, more open.” Instead, you may say, “Um, if something is stressing you, we can talk about it calmly.” Or, “Let’s find a way of working that feels comfortable for you.”… and right now, a very, very, very difficult topic: a resignation and suicidal thoughts. The resignation thoughts are thoughts about giving up, and someone might think, ‘I can’t do this anymore. I’m too tired. I wish I could just disappear. I just want to pack and go away.’ This doesn’t always mean they want to end their, their life, but it shows they’re emotionally overwhelmed, and they definitely need help. And there are suicidal thoughts. They can be passive. For example, ‘It would be better if I wasn’t here.’ Or active: ‘I’m thinking about how to do it.’ This is a red flag. It means the person is suffering deeply and sees no other way out. Remember, please remember, it’s not attention-seeking; it’s a cry for help.
What can you do if someone says these things? Don’t judge. Don’t ignore. Don’t say, ‘Pull yourself together.’ Say, ‘I see you’re struggling. Do you want to talk? You’re not alone. Help is available.’
Then offer the support. Help to find a psychologist, psychiatrist, use employee assistant program. You can offer to go with them to an appointment. Don’t leave them alone if the situation is serious. If someone says they have a plan or they are close to acting, call for help. Emergency number is for everybody. It is okay to call the emergency to help with the situation. You don’t need to be a psychologist to help. Just be present, listen, and don’t judge. Sometimes one sentence like, “You matter to me. You deserve help,” it can save someone’s life. [no audio scene] [instrumental music plays] In the second part, I want to talk about neurodiversity at work because we hear more about ADHD and autism spectrum, and I want to explain what does it mean that people think and work differently.
ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Back in my school times, it was often seen as naughty kids who couldn’t sit still and made noise. But ADHD is actually a different way the brain works, which means a person might struggle to stay focused on one task, even if it’s important or interesting. It’s not about not trying. Just the brain jumps between thoughts quickly, like, um, someone constantly switching TV channels. For example, an employee starts writing an email, then sees a notification, then remembers another task, then something from the calendar, then somebody came and ask something, and the first mail stays unfinished till the ever.
People with ADHD can be also very sensitive to sounds, to movement, lights, and background conversation. It’s like having all the windows open in your brain, and every sound and everything around, every image comes rushing it. For example, in the office, someone walks by, a phone rings, someone coughs, and the focus disappears even though the person wants to concentrate. ADHD people act before thinking. They say something without planning. They interrupt. They make quick decisions. And it’s not about bad intentions. Just the brain moves faster than the filter of stopping. For example, an employee may jump into a conversation with an idea not out of disrespect but w- from excitement and urgency to share. I’m laughing because I’m, myself, I’m sharing the diagnosis of ADHD, and that’s beautiful. People with ADHD also have lots of energy, and they find it really hard to sit still because we have, some of us, have this internal motor that rarely stops, and we need movement. We need change of positions, walking during meetings, tapping fingers, fidgeting. So if you see a person that during a meeting is doodling, is walking around, is twisting on a chair, believe me, they’re rarely bored or uninterested. The movement just helps us think. I always say that having ADHD feels like having 85 browser tabs open in my head with music playing on three of them. Yeah, that’s ADHD. And what is autism spectrum? It is about the diversity how people experience the world and connects with others. Definitely is not a disease. Still, many people think so, but it’s not a disease. It’s a different way of thinking an- and feeling, which can be just as valuable, though sometimes it needs support. People on the spectrum may experience sensory input differently, like sounds, lights, smells. They may be over-sensitive or under-sensitive. For example, an employee may wear noise-canceling headphones because office sounds are too much to handle. Another example, people may avoid handshakes because physical touch might feel uncomfortable.People on spectrum may also have difficulty understanding emotions of others. For example, they may not notice facial expressions or tone of the voice. They may speak directly without emotional packaging, like instead of saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t finish it,” they might have just said, “I didn’t do it.” And for someone, that can sound cold and can be a signal of being uninterested in the job, for example. But it isn’t meant that way. And people on spectrum also may need routine and predictability because changes can be really stressful for everybody and their brain needs more time to adjust. And routine gives a sense of safety, like, um, a, a map to navigate the world. And look at that, when you try to be aware of people’ needs, when you’re aware of differences between people and you make some adjustments, you are more flexible, you are more understanding, patient, it will help not only people with ADHD or on the spectrum. Those adjustments are good for everybody. So, how can a manager support employees with ADHD or autism? Definitely clear rules and structure, like checklists, schedules, goals helps. Then quiet, calm work environment away from noise with remote work options.
Flexibility, because not everyone works best in strict time blocks or typical ways. Flexibility allows for shorter work session, more breaks, different pace. Also, understanding communication differences.
Not everyone makes eye contact, but that doesn’t mean they’re not listening, because people on spectrum and with ADHD may avoid eye contact. People on the spectrum speak literally. They may not understand jokes or sarcasm. Understanding these differences helps avoid misunderstandings and build respectful relationship.
After everything we discussed here, I wanted to shift the focus to a topic that still feels underrepresented in conversation about mental health: recognition. It’s such a simple concept, yet it’s often overlooked in both well-being strategies and everyday workplace interaction. To explore this further, I invited two colleagues I’ve had meaningful conversation with on this topic: Żaneta Nawrot and Barbara Gornikiewicz. During our discussion on the meeting, I asked Żaneta to share a moment when she truly felt appreciated at work. Not just a polite thank you or a generic kudos, but a moment that stayed with her. And imagine, she described a recent experience that stood out. Earlier that week, someone she works with asked her to take a new responsibility. But it wasn’t just about assigning a task; it was about trust. The person explained why they wanted Żaneta specifically: because she had consistently delivered, because they believed in her, and because her past contributions had made a real impact. That expressions of trust made her feel genuinely seen and valued. What made the moment so powerful wasn’t a public gesture or formal recognition; it was one-on-one conversation grounded in real connection. The person took time to ask how she was doing, acknowledged her efforts, and gave specific feedback, not based on numbers, metrics, but on energy, engagement, and ownership. Żaneta emphasized that what mattered most was the authenticity of the integration. It wasn’t script, it wasn’t performative; it was real. And that’s what made her feel appreciated in the way wa- that lingered, not just a compliment, but a meaningful affirmation of her role and impact.
This conversation reminded me how deeply human appreciation is.
It’s not about grand gesture; it’s about being seen. It’s about being heard. It’s about being trusted. And in the context of mental well-being, it’s one of the most powerful tools we have.
After hearing Żaneta’s story, I turned to Barbara and ask her what kind of appreciation works best for her. Is it words, gesture, maybe public recognition? I admitted that, for me, public praise really resonates. I enjoy kind words in private, but when someone acknowledges me in front of the o- others, it truly lifts me up. Basia’s perspective was different and beautifully insightful. She reminded us that there are five languages of appreciation, and for her, the most meaningful one is spoken words, especially when they come in genuine, thoughtful way. It doesn’t have to be a grand compliment; sometimes simply being trusted with a new task or given autonomy is enough to feel valued. She also shared that public recognition doesn’t work for her the same way it does for others. In fact, it can make her feel uncomfortable or self-conscious. What she appreciates most is private one-on-one conversation where someone takes the time to check in, ask how she’s doing, and acknowledge her contributions with sincerity and attention to details…. Barbara highlighted that mindfulness in appreciation is key. Being truly present and attentive in how we recognize others is very important. She also mentioned that, for some people, physical gesture like high five or a pat on the back can be really meaningful. Team gatherings, in-person meetings, or project celebrations can hill- help build social bonds and make people feel seen and connected.
She closed the app with a powerful reminder. Appreciation alone may not prevent burnout or solve deeper well-being challenges, but it can be a foundation for meaning, for visibility, and strength at work, and that in itself is a vital part of mental health.
As we continued our conversation, I wanted to highlight something that often goes unnoticed: the importance of simply being present. Especially for people who experience loneliness, just showing up at the office can mean much more than completing task because it’s about human connection. For someone who doesn’t have a close person to share everyday life with, even a short interaction, a smile, a casual chat, a shared laugh can be deeply meaningful. And let’s not forget, loneliness statistic are rising both among young adults and old generations. Some people, like me, enjoy high levels of social interaction, but others may just need a brief moment of connection to feel like they belong. And sometimes it’s something as simple as colleague saying with a smile after a successful call, “Give me the high five.” This joke, this gesture, this moment, and for someone, it might be the turning point of their day or maybe even their week because we never truly know what someone is going through, who around us is living in that very long silence that we can’t see.
Żaneta jumped in with data from the Harams Institute research on the power of appreciation.
Their findings show that gestures like high five or pat on the back or a sincere thank you do more than motivation. They boost self-esteem. They protect against burnout, and they help people feel that their work has meaning. Appreciation is felt as respect, whether it’s public praise or a quiet moment of recognition.
Barbara added that recognition becomes even more powerful when it’s specific. Not just good job, but, ‘I saw the effort you put in,’ or, ‘I noticed how much energy and care went into this.’ It is not just about celebrating success. It’s about honoring the journey even when things don’t go perfectly. I asked, ‘Do we only appreciate when someone delivers the results? What about when things don’t go as planned, but someone tried really hard? Can we say, ‘You did a great job. It didn’t work out, but I see how much it cost you.’ Do we have that kind of awareness to appreciate the process, not the outcome?’ Jeanetta responded beautifully, “Yes, we can, when we pay attention.” She shared how in project that didn’t meet deadlines or targets, the learning, growth, and effort were still immense, and that’s what we need to recognize because sometimes we stumble, sometimes things don’t go as- as planned, but the path we walked was full of value. That’s where mindfulness comes in. Not just looking at what didn’t work, but also saying, “Look how far we’ve come. Let’s celebrate what we’ve learned.” Even when the numbers aren’t perfect, the journey matters, and appreciation helps us to see it.
I ask them a question that often comes up in leadership conversation. What can we do to make appreciation a habit, especially for those who don’t naturally notice or express it? Some people are naturally tuned into others and express recognition easily, but for many, especially those who are task-focused or simply not wired that way, it can feel awkward or unnatural. How do we make appreciation part of our daily rhythm, even if- if it doesn’t come from the impulse? And Jeanetta shared a great tip from recent workshops with people managers. Schedule time for appreciation. Literally block five to seven minutes in your calendar each day, maybe while drinking coffee or closing Outlook, to reflect, ‘Did something good happen today? Did someone contribute in a way worth acknowledging?’ There is always something. [laughs] Appreciation doesn’t need to be grand. It can be a quick message, a sticky note, a Teams chat, or a short call to say, “Hey, thanks for today.” Basia added that, for many people, spending time together is a powerful form of recognition. Even a 10-minute coffee break, a casual chat, or simply being present with someone can make a difference. It’s not about saying big words. It about being there, noticing, and connecting. She emphasized that appreciation can be simple and relational. ‘Thank you. I really liked how you handled that. I appreciate your effort.’
These small gesture build motivation and emotional safety…. they remind people that their time, their energy, their potential are seen and that they’re getting something meaningful in return. Recognition doesn’t have to be spontaneous or emotional; it can be intentional. It can be structured and still deeply human.
And when practiced regularly, it helps create a workplace where people feel valued, not just for what they deliver, but for who they are. I have a personal ritual around appreciation, and it’s a bit unconventional. Usually, when we talk about recognition, we focus on appreciating our teams, colleagues, people we manage. But I try to remember someone else, the managers, the people above me. Years ago, one of my former leaders, someone I didn’t have the best experience, said something that stuck with me. “No one needs positive feedback more than a manager.” And it hit me. Managers are often the ones who receive the hard stuff: escalation, complaints, problems, criticism. Really, does anyone say, “Hey, great job”? That moment changed how I think about recognition. We expect leaders to appreciate others, but it rarely flows back to them. So now, when I work with experts, senior leaders, or people in higher responsibility roles, and I see empathy, when I see clarity, humility, I make sure to tell them, “I appreciate how you handled that. It was really good.” And their reaction? Often surprised. “Wow, thanks for saying that.” Or even like, “Okay, what, what just happened?” As if positive feedback were something rare or unexpected. I even once faced a situation when a very high-positioned person told me, “Thanks for saying that. I really need it.” Was it worth it? Yes, it was. It matters. It reinforces good behavior. It strengthens relationship. It contributes to a healthier work culture.
I asked Zaneta and Barbara to help me summarize. How does recognition, even simple gesture like high five, thank you, pat on the back, impact mental health and well-being? Why does something so small matter so much?
They responded beautifully. Because it makes us feel seen. We don’t know what people are going through outside the work, but we do have influence over what happens here together. Small acts of recognition can make someone feel motivated, respected, valued, and visible. Especially in a world where loneliness is rising, being noticed can be powerful antidote. Appreciation isn’t just about praise; it’s also about encouragement. It helps people step out of their comfort zones, take new challenges, and believe in their own abilities. It builds confidence. It gives sense of purpose. And it shifts a mindset from, “Oh no, another task,” to, “Okay, new opportunity.” Recognition helps people see that their work matters and that they matter. And that’s essential for well-being, especially in team environments. Finally, I asked one last question. Who is the hardest person to appreciate in a team? And you know what they told me? There is no such person. It’s all about attention and curiosity. Observe, listen, learn how someone likes to be appreciated. Everyone has a language of recognition, and it’s our job to speak it.
As we wrapped up our session, a few powerful questions came up. I want to share them here, of course anonymously, because their essence is universal. One question touched on a deeply serious issue. What should we do when we suspect that someone in our team is in a mental crisis, possibly even expressing suicidal thoughts? That’s why I’ve recorded this podcast again, and I put the information what to do, please find it in the first part of the podcast. Because should we act? Yes, we must act. If there is a real risk to someone’s life, our responsibility as humans, not just as leaders, is to respond. In our organization, we have two pathways. Soft route, where you can reach out to your HR business partner or to me directly, to organize a crisis intervention. And there is a hard route for situations that are urgent and life-threatening, where contacting emergency services is necessary. In those moments, it’s not about procedures or paperwork. It’s about making sure no one is left alone. These are not easy topics, but that’s exactly why we need to keep talking about them so we are ready when it really matters. Another question asked with a smile but carrying real weight was about the fear of giving recognition. Some leaders worry they’ll do it wrong, that it will sound fake, forced, or like a cheesy ‘good job’ from a movie. And instead of helping, it might backfire. This question was so important because it reminded us that recognition isn’t always easy or natural. But the answer was simple. It’s better to try nine times and get it right on the 10th than not to try at all. Even imperfect feedback is better than silence. And the key is specificity. Not vague praise, but noticing the effort, the intention, and the journey. And even if we’re afraid it might sound awkward, we should say it anyway. Or as I like to put it, be afraid and say it anyway.
This episode wasn’t easy, but it was needed. If you’re a leader, think about who in your team needs a word of appreciation today. And if you’re not a leader, maybe your leader does. Recognition isn’t a task to complete; it’s a daily choice. At work, at home, in relationships, one message, one kind word, one honest ‘thank you.’ That’s how you build trust. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Don’t wait for a reason. Make recognition a part of your everyday. Someone might be waiting to hear your words. Your mission for today: pause and say it, truly from the heart.
Outro
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